Wheee!

I really have neglected this blog for several reasons, most of them involving limited Internet access (which I think I've bitched about sufficiently) and a growing (and disturbing) addiction to facebook.  I find myself spending more time writing on people's walls, tending a farm, and trying to come up with witty status updates then childcare, which is quite sad.  It's just nice to be in a social networking deal where I actually get messages from people occasionally..even if it's just so they can repeatedly kick my ass at a poor man's version of Scrabble.

So, what is there to report?  Not much.  Still momming it up, still in Daleville, still unemployed...Oh, I got to spend my Valentine's day (and two days after) watching Jason and James get drunk and argue about who was more proficient at "Soul Caliber 4", which was entertaining at first and then just descended into madness.  My house is still a wreck, my kid has a hacking cough, and I am getting increasingly irritated at my inability to find a replacement coffee pot.  I am oh so domestic, and it makes me kind of curious about how all these people who've asked to be my "friends" who only knew me as "high school Kristin" view me now.  I obviously didn't see the world afire, and I no longer have interesting hair or piercings.  Oh well.

Continuing in my weird need to post photos of June/Henry/Anais...here's a lovely shot of Miss Nin.  Unlike myself, she did set the world afire...but if having an affair with your father, being married to two men at the same time, and being more than a little self absorbed are prerequisites for that, I think I'll just stick with watching my son destroy his toys and mimic Baron Silas Greenback on "Danger Mouse".

A brief update for the four people that read this

Okay, so hopefully we're getting our internet hooked back up next week. Until then here's some crap that's been going on in my life:
1. I celebrated my tenth anniversary by sitting at home alone (yeah, he was in some major shit)
2. I am attempting to quit smoking. They've got me on not only antidepressants, but I'm supposed to start the patch in a couple of days.
3. Due to the antidepressants, I cannot drink. I don't mean that I'm being a good girl and following the label, I mean I've tried and I can't drink. It makes me feel like I'm coming down with the flu. I predict that by the time the twelve weeks is up, I'll have killed someone.
4. I had a thyroid test to see if that explains why I've become such an enormous fatass. Cross your fingers that that's it and not the fact that I've been drinking like Faye Dunaway in "Barfly" for something like ten years.

Okay, fine

For some unknown reason, late one night, Jason and I got in a heated debate about whether or not Fredrick Douglas invented peanut butter. I contended that I had learned this in elementary school, and thus, that it had to be true (Fredrick Douglas is the gentleman with the white hair).

Unfortunately, once I looked it up on Wikipedia, I realized I was thinking of George Washington Carver (the top gentlemen). Being a person who is able to admit my mistakes, I then began to expound about G.W.C. who invented peanut butter....and then I ruined the whole thing by looking it up on Wikipedia...And of course I'm wrong.

I swear, these are the kind of retarded arguments we have on a regular basis.

I am bored

So I thought I'd post this photo of Tom Waits from "The Outsiders". I'm not ashamed to admit it (well, not all that ashamed) but I rushed out when the new special edition of this movie came out on DVD and bought it. Ah, Ponyboy...although I'd have to say, for my money, Matt Dillion is the main attraction. Ah, Dallas Winston...unfortunately for me, after viewing this movie approximately 90 million times while growing up, I fear I may have developed a horrible "bad boy" fixation, which lead me to date some really..well, good looking bad boys who treated me like dirt. I blame you, Dallas Winston! Anyway...isn't it bizarre that Tom Waits was in this movie? His character's name was Buck, and if I wasn't too lazy, I'd get up and find the book and tell you the last name as well, but...what with being on my third beer (another drunken blog, yay!) and all...Yeah.

I'm beginning to think this whole blogging thing may not be for me...I think I'm essentially a boring person who really has nothing interesting to say, other than waxing rhapsodic about "The Outsiders" and other retarded shit. I'm sure there's a vast internet movement toward lame Midwestern moms who bitch about their lives and give cute little anecdotes about pop culture...and then go on and on about how they don't think they should be blogging in the first place...AGH!

Oh well. I thought this was funny.... I'll shut up now.

River's way into "The Muppets Take Manhattan", so....

While looking for mp3s for my stupid mp3 player on my stupid myspace page, I typed in the Ramones, who I of course love (and saw on the day Clinton got elected, just to give you an idea of what an old fart I am). Anyhoo...it is astonishing to me how many people think the song "Blitzkreig Bop" is called "Hey Ho Let's Go". Equally puzzling is the many (over 50, and I'm not exaggerating) people who'd uploaded the song "What I Like About You" and credited it to the Ramones. Maybe they covered it or something, but the five or six times I clicked on the links, it most certainly was not the Ramones...I think it's the Romantics or something. So....yeah, I let random crap annoy me.

It always seems like such a good idea at the time

This slightly dazed and insane look is the result of being alone and drinking. All I had was a six pack of beer, but that's all it took for me to write the woe-is-me blog under this one...the one in which I hate my life, etc. You can read, so, yeah, there it is...slightly embarrassing now, considering that when Jason got home like an hour later, I was mad for about five minutes and then pretty much just gabbed away about absolutely nothing in the happiest manner imaginable.

Am I bi-polar? No, just bored, frustrated, and lacking in anything better to then post retarded blogs about how life sucks when you're drunk and at home alone. So...in summation, I'll say this: I'm fine, everything else is fine, there are annoyances in my life but they're not that big a deal, and I promise to try to keep the drunken blogging to a minimum.

It always was fun to use dirty words while playing Mad Libs

The Person Who Did Stuff To Me

As I was meandering crazily down the skating rink one fine summer's eon, the most obnoxious, ballsy c thomas howell fatly fucked me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, oozing my elbow at him jauntily, "That was terribly gross of you. I demand an apology."
The c thomas howell banged at me poopily and fucked me again, this time with both knuckles.
"Excuse me!" I said, this time more expertly. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to screw you. You're a very gay c thomas howell, I must say."
"I can't stop," the c thomas howell said accidentally. "You see, my mother was a fluffer, my father was chunky, and the trauma was just too much. I'm sticky as a manatee, I'm obscene to say."
At hearing his slimy story, I felt for him. But I balled the dark douchebag anyway and moved on

My favorite TV theme song of all time

And the show takes place in Indianapolis, too!

In completely unrelated news, I get to go to a party this weekend! Hells yeah! It has been soooo long since I've done anything even remotely exciting...unless you count the various family get-togethers I've endured these past few weeks (if any of my family reads this: "Hi! Love ya! Can't wait to see you again!") Blake's moving to Texas and throwing himself a going-away shindig, so I'm sure to see tons of people I haven't seen in well over a year, probably drink too much, ruin my diet, and feel really guilty about it the next day. Again, hells yeah!

In more unrelated news, here are two of my favorite titles I have been called: "baby momma" and "special lady friend".